Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Catching up on the holidays.

I should update this more and you know, I just may. It is very therapeutic.

Last week I quit my job at the hotel I had just started back in April. It was a long time coming. I can't regret my decision because it definitely was and is a better hotel, company and location. Benefits and everything. Only a few hitches that became bigger ones and it was time to go. Mainly for my health: mental, physical, and emotional well being. I'll miss it, sure, but there were more cons than pros and it was time.

I've applied to other establishments and have had several interviews. Most of the jobs start in January, which is good because it means I can focus on my family and friends that I've neglected. Speaking of, my stepfather went into surgery just several minutes ago. They found cancerous cysts in his bladder and doing surgery to remove them and see if the cancer has spread or not. Hopefully it hasn't and this will be a one time thing, because I can't imagine my life let alone my mother's life without him or him being cooped up in the hospital undergoing multiple surgeries and radiation. It's a scary thing.

I'm lucky enough to have my boyfriend and half sister supporting me. Maylee understands all too well and a little bit more about this aspect considering her husband Ian just went into remission himself not too long ago. That's her husband, this is my father. Different, but both important - I'm just glad to have the support in any way I can. She's gone through this, and in more detail. She's inspiring and strong. I admire her.

Similarly, as for surgeries, my Aunt's husband is having extensive heart surgery this morning as well. So the entire Taylor/Beauregard/Ahlf clan will be praying hard today.

I'm blessed beyond words and am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. Especially family. Everyone knows that my stepfather's family is my core family. They helped raise me and instilled such wonderful teachings of how family is supposed to be - no matter how broken it may be. I think it's because they had a wonderful sister, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother in Nan - my stepdad's mum.

I'm rambling on again. Still, it's something. Right?

Saturday, August 18, 2012

it's been awhileeeee againnnnn

It's been awhile since I last updated!

I am now working for a new hotel. It is a a lot closer to home now and more money, yay for me~!

I started dating a wonderful man at the beginning of March, his name is Alex. :) He and I are doing great, so great we just moved into our place this week. Yes, I know, crazy.

"Only dating for five months and moving in...? Didn't you try to move in with your ex before? How well did that turn out?" Believe me, I know. It took a lot of talking and debating. The main reason for moving in is that it would help finances since he'll be traveling an hour and a half to school each day for the next two semesters.

"Why doesn't he get a place closer to school?" Well, they are either outrageously expensive, or completely run down. So he opted to stay in Columbia for that AND because he wanted to be able to see me more. Makes sense, right?

I am definitely homesick, even though I'm only 2 miles down the road. I miss my room, my house, my yard, -- everything about my parent's house - but mainly my mom. My dog Bella isn't adjusting to it well either, though she's doing better than I am. (I say that because I have cried each night missing home.) Hopefully this is just a temporary feeling, because I do love Alex and want to live with him, it's just different. We all know I'm overly attached to my mom, and if you didn't know that, well now you do. My mom has been everything to me. Plus that house has so many great memories. I love everything about it. To say I didn't want to move would be an understatement. I didn't want to leave my parents, or the house, yard - but I wanted to share a life with the man I love and in order to do that was to move in with him and help out.

I tend to help out a lot. I'm still helping out with bills at my parents house, my own personal ones along with some of my mother's, and now the new place with Alex. I'm stretching myself too thin, I think. I am very stressed about it. Not to mention my health...

Speaking of.. Health.. I've had a recurring kidney infection now going on for 4 weeks. Been on 4 antibiotics, have had numerous tests and shots and no results. I'm still in pain and having issues. It's completely and utterly aggravating. Another hope is that they'll have this all figured out and fix it soon. If not I may just say "screw it" and just go on.

Oh wells.

Friday, February 10, 2012

today is my mum's birthday!

Yes, today is my mother's birthday. Without her, I would not be alive, so I'm glad to celebrate this day with her. She is simply amazing. We've had our ups and downs, but we're best friends. I'm not ashamed or afraid to say that either. A lot of people wish they could be close with their parents. I am a lucky duck to be able to be so close with my momma!

Hopefully she'll have a good day today. I'm stuck at work till about 3pm, then I'm gonna head home to nap. Didn't get much sleep last night, too much on the mind and then waking up every half hour it seemed. This whole lacking of sleep is getting frustrating. It seems I'm now taking naps wherever I can since I can't seem to stay asleep for very long.

Oh crap, I forgot to inform you guys. I did end up having corrective eye surgery last month. I know, pretty quick, huh? Yeah, went in to get the consult on the 9th of January. Decided to get the epi-LASIK, which is similar to the PRK as far as healing time and what not. Got it done on the 19th, and have been glasses free.

It's been a roller coaster, to say the least. I was incredibly nervous going in there. In fact, the had to give me Valium to calm down. I went in there, with my Hello Kitty snuggie, was given a teddy bear and told to lay down. My nerves started to pick up, especially when I felt like was not laying down straight, but that my upper torso was leaning at an angle. They assured me, that it was just how the seat was made, but I was flat and not falling.

Soon after, the doctor came in with a medical student who was observing. They reassured me that he would not be doing anything, just overlooking the process and what not. Next came drops, drops that numbed my eyes. They started with the right eye first, taping my eyelashes back before using this speculum to hold open my eye lids better. This was slightly uncomfortable, but only because I felt pressure but that was it.

Next came some blurriness and weird feeling. He used a micro-polisher, which looked like one of those electric toothbrushes that goes in a circle. Well, he used that for the top layer of my eye, then the laser was put on for about 30 seconds. After that, some drops and ointment were put on the eye, and then a contact lens. After this, there was this freezing cold water they shot in my eye. It was surprising and I didn't like it at all. My eye couldn't really feel it, but the socket did. It was like a brain freeze for my eye!

After the right eye was done, they moved on to my left. The same thing was done, except they had to give me extra numbing drops because as they were putting the speculum in to hold open my eyelids, it HURT. Other than that minor thing, it went well. I was done in 15 minutes.

After the procedure, I just had to get my sunglasses on, get further instruction on what to do and what to use. My wonderful friends took me to the pharmacy to get the medicine and then I went home and slept. Over the next few days my eyes got worse as far as vision went. The pain was irritating, but not enough to take medicine. The only reason I did take anything was just so I could sleep through the whole ordeal, because I couldn't watch anything and I just wanted to get it over with.

Four days after the surgery, I went back to have the contacts remove. My vision didn't get better or worse, in fact for the next two days I felt like I still had those contacts in. I had to take a few extra days off work, due to the blurriness and light sensitivity. But returned to work a week after. I wish I had taken another week, because my eyes kept going back and forth so often. They still do, but not so bad.

Over all, so far it's bee a pretty successful thing. I get to go back in two more weeks to check and see how well I can see without glasses. It'll be fun to know where I'm at and how fast I'm healing. They said it would take a few more weeks to months till I'm able to see at the predicted optimal level. Soooo, it's a wait game. Frustrating, but understandably so.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

new year once more.

It's been a bit since I've been on here to blog. I have wanted to at several times, but never sure if I really wanted to type up all of my feelings.

Needless to say, lots of things are going on in my life these days, yet nothing at all. Tricky, eh? Yeah. I've basically been working a lot, planning a few trips, and trying to better myself. All in all it hasn't really been successful, but that may be just my state of mind right now.

Holidays were as usual. Nothing big, same ole' same ole'. My sister Heather got engaged to her boyfriend Gordi. Woot! Kinda unexpected because I would have never thought she'd get married, just shows how much I don't know about my sister. Maylee seems to be in better spirits, especially since the Cancer is gone from her hubby and she's reconnecting with her mom again.

My mom just had surgery on her hand and wrist since her arthritis has taken a toll on her bones, they had to clean up everything and what not. Let's just say, she's in a lot of pain and not even Demerol is helping her with it. ><

Working is the same thing, different day. I can't complain too much.. Well, I can but I just won't. >> The only thing I will say is I hope that everyone at work starts to feel better because they're all sick. Thank the unknown for me not getting sick so far, -knock on wood-.

I've kinda been spacey from my friends and just a bum. Not really going out or doing anything. I didn't even party for New Year's. I stayed home and slept. The original plan was to visit family in NC, but of course something happened and plans changed.It got me down and I just said, "To Hell with it all, I'm gonna sleep." So I did. Oh wells.

The only thing new or exciting for me right now is that I'll be going into seeing a surgeon tomorrow and get a consultation from him about LASIK. Yes, ladies and gents, I'm hoping I can get rid of these spectacles. Granted, they are quite a good look for me, I'm just tired of the hassle. It's a lot of upkeep and I have had them since I was seven years old. I want change, aside from my hair.

I've been having more talks with myself and God lately. Just mindless ramblings really, but sometimes I have a serious conversation and feel lost for a few minutes until something washes over me. I think it's my faith and God's love reassuring me that everything will be alright. It's a constant struggle to keep your faith in someone or something. No matter what. But I have it still. Just like I have it with a person who I probably shouldn't have it in. Well, according to some people, that is their POV.

I miss him. You ask who or which one, Chris. Cali-Chris. I heard from him finally after two months, he's been busy a lot and his Dad and him are traveling around the US and England to scatter his mum's ashes. It's what she wanted, and I know it's hard on them. I'll be going out to Cali I think in late March with my friend Roxy to hang out and cheer on her sister at a dance competition. Maybe I'll be able to meet up with him and have lunch. Then two weeks after that I have a wedding in LA to attend, my friend Mary is getting married! So many things to do, so little time and finances.

Hopefully I'll figure it all out and see what I can and can't do soon.